Spare Some Change?

Some things will never change; Kid Rock just got arrested again for a fight in a Waffle House. But for the love of Tom Brady (who's as close to the other guy as you can get right now), can somebody change some of these rules that are tarnishing their respective games? These tweaks seem so obvious to me that I can't understand why they haven't happened yet:

NHL: 4 or 5 minutes for Blood
Is this not the most illogical rule in hockey? If a player is cut by a high-stick the penalty is more severe despite the perceived intent. So I can try to lift a guy's stick, miss and wind up in the box for twice as long as a player who's clearly reckless with the lumber? Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. How about doling out minutes based on the actual action instead of the result? Last time I checked, you don't get five minutes in the sin bin if you rip a guy's sweater when you hold him.

CFL: Conceding Safeties and The Rouge
So let me get this straight. We create a rule that forces a team to return the ball every time it's kicked, but we still allow punters to take a knee in the endzone so that the opposition doesn't get good field position? It's boring, fans hate it and it doesn't truly reward a team for pinning it's opponent deep. Yeah, I know that you get two points and the ball as well, but if you're not going to amend the safety rule, at least make midfield the automatic field position instead of your own 40. That would make coaches think twice about conceding the deuce. And as for awarding a single point on a missed field goal, gimme a break. You shouldn't be rewarded for failing.

NFL: Allowing Coaches to call Timeouts
This rule is what's allowed the bench bosses to call timeouts a fraction of a second before a kicker attempts a field goal. If a team can get the snap and kick off before we actually hear the whistle, there's a problem. I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to freeze the kicker, but make a player on the field call for a break. Is it that tough for a coach to signal in to his team that he wants a timeout in that situation? I guarantee those timeouts get called a couple of seconds earlier, and we don't have to sit there and wonder if the game-winning attempt we just saw was legit. What happens when one of these kickers or holders gets hurt on a play that doesn't even count?

MLB: Instant Replay
I'm not talking about taking away the strike zone from the umpires. But we've had two cases in the last two weeks of players hitting homeruns and not being awarded the roundtripper. Sure, baseball is already a long game, but if the umps blow a big call on the basepads that can affect the score and the cameras catch it, I think you need the ability to get it right. Especially in the postseason. If they can do it in tennis, I think they should be able to do it in baseball.

NBA: Too Many Timeouts
Other than the 30 coaches in the Association, find me someone that doesn't agree with this one. Newsflash: these guys have all played the game since they could stand upright. They know the ball needs to go in the hoop if they're losing. Please stop sucking the life out of the little drama that currently exists in the NBA. I know it's a lot to ask to coach up your team in practice or signal something from the bench, but how about we let the guys on the court decide which play to run. Otherwise, we'll just hand you suits an X-box controller and duke it out in cyberspace.