Not Ducked Quite Yet

Call me crazy (and I'm sure many of you will), but having watched the Canucks lose 5-1 in Anaheim, I actually think they have a better chance of winning this series than I did 24 hours ago. Before you ready the straightjacket, just hear me out.

The Canucks had plenty of chances. No, they didn't bury them, but the Ducks were ceratinly not suffocating defensively. Maybe 7 games with the Stars convinced me that Markus Naslund would need to trade his first-born for his club to get offensive opportunites, but it appears as though Anaheim will afford the Nucks more chances to score than Dallas did. Vancouver could easily have scored 4 goals in Game 1. Just ask Henrik Sedin.

Roberto Luongo can be better. I know he's the best goalie on the planet right now, so don't send hate mail. But despite a number of Luongo-like saves, I think most people who've followed this team all year would admit that he can raise his game another level from the opener. He has the ability to shut the door on any team, even one as talented as Anaheim that generates numerous chances each night. This guy is bulletproof when he's at his best.

Black-and-Blueline. Yes, injuries are part of the playoffs. But take Pronger and O'Donnell out of Anaheim's lineup and see how well they fare in their own end. I know. Neither Bieksa nor Salo is Chris Pronger, but the effect on the blueline is comparable. If numbers 3 and 6 can return in a hurry, the Ducks will have fewer quality chances to beat #1. And both d-men can provide offense that would help a powerplay that went 0-7 in game 1.

Now even if all of these things happen, the Canucks might be putting into a cup instead of raising one in the near future. All I'm saying is that they aren't as much an underdog as I originally anticipated. I still think Anaheim is the team to beat in the series, but having witnessed the opener, I'll be less surprised if Nucks pluck the Ducks.

Lucky #7

It could be Seventh Heaven for Canucks' fans tonight. Or the 'Nucks could commit the Seventh deadly sin in a series in which they've been fatally flawed on a number of occasions.

But here's the thing; outside of injuries, I'm convinced that none of the previous six games have anything to do with game 7.

Because for every argument you can make, there is a valid counter-argument. For example:

1. Dallas has all of the momentum. True. Having won games 5 and 6, the Stars should be confident heading into Game 7. But a similar momentum didn't result in a Canucks' win last Thursday when the locals had their first opportunity to clinch the series. And it didn't help the Canucks back in '04 after winning a triple-overtime thriller in Cowtown. They still lost Game 7.

2. Marty Turco has been unbeatable. Looks that way doesn't it? Turco has 3 shutouts this series (tying an NHL playoff record for a 7 game set) and he may actually have been better in the games in which he allowed goals. But Luongo has been as good or better than Turco and here's an interesting stat to consider. The Stars have not won a game in which the Canucks have scored. Will Turco shut them out again? Maybe, but I'm guessing no.

3. The Stars have shone in Vancouver. Dallas has won 2 of the 3 games in Vancity and narrowly missed winning the third as well. Plus the Canucks have dropped the last two game 7's they've played at the Garage. But history tells us that home is generally sweet. In fact, home teams have won around 64% of seventh games in the NHL playoffs.

You get the picture. So much happens over a seven-game series that when the 7th game evetually rolls around, you can make an argument for either team based on what has happened to this point. But the beauty of the playoffs is that it doesnt matter what you've done. It only matters what you do tonight. If the Canucks advance, do you really think people will harp on the fact that the Sedins have been invisible too often or that the powerplay is 1-for-28 in the first 6 games? Those stats and arguments are for teams that lose. And you can expect to hear them a lot if Vancouver bows out.

Does Rintoul Stack Up?

A fool and his tummy are soon parted. That's the moral of today's story.

For those of you who don't know, my morning producer, T-mart, and I made a bet earlier this week on Game 3 of the Wings/Flames series. T-mart, an unabashed Flames fan, would have to eat yogurt (which he has never tried and is admittedly frightened of) if the Flames fell at home. If they won, I agreed to ingest the biggest and greasiest fast-food burger T-mart could find. He decided on the BK Quad Stacker: four patties, four slices of cheese and 8 strips of bacon.
Thanks to a couple of rare gaffes by Niclas Lidstrom, you can see who lost the bet. But I wasn't that worried. Because even though I don't eat much fast food anymore, the Whopper had been my favorite growing up. This couldn't be that different, right?


Just after noon earlier today, T-mart and I approached the register and he ordered the burger.

"1 Quad Stacker and 2 diet cokes, please."

"Two diet cokes and what?" responded the cashier. She wasn't a trainee. She obviously had never had anyone order this monstrosity before. Another cashier came over to help her find the correct button to ring it in. (For future reference, if the company is advertising a burger on the sign behind the register, but the cashier has never even heard of it, it's probably a bad investment.)

During this time, I had engaged another cashier in conversation as I wanted to wear the Burger King crown while I completed my task. She wondered why I wanted the crown, so I explained that I had lost a bet and had to eat a Quad Stacker as a result.

"A what?" she asked. 2 of 3 regulars had never even heard of the calorie-fest I was about to devour. Not good. When I pointed out the picture on the sign, her only reply was, "Good luck with that, buddy."

A couple of minutes later, it was time for business. With T-mart snickering in the background with camera-phone in hand, I took my first massive bite (not that easy considering the height of the creation).

All I could taste was bacon. But it wasn't that bad overall. A couple more giant chomps and I was no longer tasting bacon - just four flame-broiled patties smothered in cheese.

T-mart was getting pretty giddy about that time as he himself was a bit freaked out by the asthetics of the Stacker. You can see by this picture that it's not the most appealing entree that you've ever cast your eyes on. It doesnt taste bad, but it's a whole lotta burger. And I'm not a whole lotta person.

But a bet is a bet, and I was determined to live up to my end of the bargain. At one point, I'm pretty sure that T-mart felt bad for me as I shovelled this mass of ground beef, bacon and cheese down my pie-hole. Or maybe not.

About 4 or 5 bites from the end, my gut started to realize what was happening. It rumbled at me as if to ask, "What the hell are you doing up there?". I wasn't feeling as though I was going to hurl, but it wasn't exactly hitting the spot. More like smashing it with a 1,000-calorie sledge-hammer. I'm pretty sure the Double Stacker would be good, but the Quad is a heavyweight and I'm not fighting in that division quite yet.

But despite the onset of gut-rot, I finished Quadzilla. I'm not a believer in bulemia, but I was starting to see how you could make a case for it.


At the time of this post, it's been about 2 hours now since I polished off the Stacker, and it's still with me. In fact, it constantly reminds me that it's still with me. I'm sure I'll feel much less bloated as tonight's hockey game approaches. But I don't think I'll be recommending the Q-Stack on tomorrow's Best Bets. You need to be a Fast Food Black Belt to throw down the Quad, and I have clearly been weighed, measured and found wanting in that discipline. It has nothing to do with Burger King; I still give the King two thumbs up, especially the ads with the freaky-lookin', half-lifelike King turning up in strange places. But I need far more training to handle the Quad Stacker. Next time I'll be ordering Old Faithful - The Whopper.

Whistle Blown on Whistle-Blower

The message from NBA Comissioner David Stern is crystal clear. You want to make it personal? Then I'll make it personal as well.

Stern has suspended veteran referee Joey Crawford for the rest of the season and the playoffs for his actions in the Spurs-Mavericks game on Sunday. And I'm all for it.

Here's the Coles Notes:

Crawford threw Tim Duncan out of the game for laughing at a call while sitting on the bench. Duncan says Crawford asked him, "Do you want to fight? Do you want to fight?". Crawford denies that and contends that Duncan used profanity earlier in the game. Duncan, by the way, was fined $25000 for his part in the incident. But to eject a guy for laughing? Brett Favre would never make it past the first series. It's pretty obvious to me that Crawford decided to pull a powertrip on Duncan.

Should players be allowed to show up officials? No.

Is refereeing the toughest and most thankless job in all of sports? Yes.

But that doesn't give Crawford the right to make himself bigger than the game.

Other NBA officals think that the punishment for Crawford is too harsh. But we're not talking about a choir boy in Crawford. Despite the fact that he might be the best official in the game, he has been hauled into Stern's office before. Crawford crossed the line a couple of years ago in a Mavericks series where his officiating was obviously a reflection of his disdain for the Mavs at the time. And he is also a guy who resigned from his job after taking part in a scheme to pocket undeclared cash from downgrading his airline tickets in the late 90's. And when you've been warned before, it's tough to argue that you don't deserve whatever you get.

Crawford didn't just cross the line on Sunday, he long-jumped it. Fans do not pay to see the officials, and when a referee decides to make himself the star of the show, he needs a reality check. The NBA took steps this season to protect the zebras from verbal abuse from the players. I'm glad that Stern showed everyone that it's a two-way street.

Whimpers From Limpers

Apparently there is a shortage of crutches in the Lower Mainland. Hospitals and clinics are scrambling to find them. Why? Because of the rash of broken ankles in recent days.

I could not believe how many people were jumping off the Canucks' Bandwagon on Saturday in response to Friday's 2-0 loss to the Stars. I was shocked at how many people approached me yesterday with the attitude that the Canucks were pretty much done as far as the playoffs go. That the Stars were a far superior squad and it was just a matter of time before the local lads were swept aside.

Are you kidding me? After one loss? Give your head a shake people!

Am I going to guarantee you that Vancouver wins this series? No. But I will say this - did you think it was going to be a cakewalk? The west is so tight this year - 7 teams with over 100 pts - that I won't be surprised at any of the first round results. That being said, I think the Canucks are going to win the series. These two teams are a very good test for each other and I just happen to like the team with the better goalie at the end of the day.

But that's beside the point. The real concern is the amount of people who bail on their team when the road gets a little bit rocky. Yeah, I know. It's cool to wear the vintage jersey or t-shirt when the Canucks have won 4 in a row. But as soon as a little adversity hits, you start in with the "I told you these guys weren't very good" routine. Listen, whether it's the 'Nucks or any other team you root for, you should be at your loudest and proudest when the chips are down (which isn't even the case right now; it's 1-1 people!).

Which brings me to the atmosphere at GM Place. If you are truly a fan of the Canucks, you should be screaming your lungs out when they trail 2-0 in the 2nd. You should be the one getting your section to chant "Go Canucks Go" at that point. Do you really think they need inspiration or motivation when they grab a 5-2 lead? That arena was like a morgue for most of the 2nd period in Game 2 and for long stretches in Game 1. Do you want to be part of the solution or part of the problem? It drives me nuts when people rip Vancouver for having bad sports fans because I know a lot of you out there are diehards. So don't let the "Canucks are trendy so let's go to the game" people ruin your reputation.

I will admit that part of it is on the Canucks organization. I think they could do a better job with that sweet scoreboard and screen at the Garage to fire the crowd up. But until that happens (and with CEO Chris Zimmerman, believe me, they are going to make it happen), get on your feet and get behind the home side. Or don't bother calling yourself a Canucks' fan. Because there's nothing worse than sitting on the fence. All you get is a sore groin.

Wading into the Playoff Pool

So after a week-long hiatus to Cuba to talk to Fidel Castro about the possibility of importing a couple of new players for this summer's Headliners softball squad, I return from the sun to the ice. Yeah, the puck drops on the NHL playoffs tomorrow and 99% of the Great White North is salivating with anticipation. Most because it's the best hockey of the year, but many because of the investment opportunity known as the PLAYOFF POOL.

But before I dispense any advice, a couple of things.

1. Too much knowledge is a bad thing. I am fully convinced that there is an inverse relationship between knowing the numbers and winning a hockey pool. Chances are that the guy who picks players whose surnames remind him of Dungeons and Dragons beats the guy who can recall Pavol Datsyuk's Russian bantam stats. Or maybe you expected Cory Stillman to finish 2nd in playoff scoring last year. I think you get the point.

2. Think of the entry fee as a chance to rip the local loudmouth. You know the guy. There's one in every office. Most sentences start with, "Let me tell you how they should be handling Luongo..." or "If I was playing with the Sedins...". This is the one person you should NEVER take advice from nor partner with in your pool. But take notes on what he says during the draft because it will be good ammo in late May. The only thing you do know about this guy is that he will not win the pool. He should ask for a tax receipt upon paying his money.

So here's what I will say. Whether you want to put your money on a blue chip stock like the Sabres or a long shot like the Islanders, take two or three players from a TEAM you feel good about. Of the top 16 scorers in last year's postseason, only 3 were from teams other than Carolina or Edmonton. It's tough to win a pool with a player from every team. Half of your lineup gets whacked every round. Decide on a couple of clubs that you think will make deep runs and hitch your wagon to them.

And look for players who aren't known as big guns, but who play alongside them. Fernando Pisani won't be winning any Art Ross trophies any time soon. But he was getting powerplay time and playing on a line with a bunch of the Oilers' skilled players last year, so he picked up 18 points. The big names will always go first, but Matt Cullen had twice as many points as Joe Thornton in '06.

Finally, resist the urge to draft with your heart instead of your head. If it's the 13th round, go ahead and take a flyer on Alex Burrows if you really want. But drafting your favorite Canuck fourth-liner in the fourth round will leave you chequing Mel Kiper's NFL draft board in late April instead of adding up playoff points.

Of course this all comes from a guy who's in a no-win position in every pool he enters. If I win, it's because I'm a sports guy. If I lose, it's "What are you, an idiot? You talk about sports every day on the radio. How'd you lose to the coffee shop girl?". And if you read rule #1, you've got a pretty good idea of where I'll probably end up again this year. But that being said, I was swimming off the shores of Cuba this past week instead of watching the final week of the regular season. Perhaps wading in those warm waters with ice in my drink will have me treading water in this year's pools on ice.