Hats off to Tiger Woods for winning the PGA Championship, his second major of the year and 12th of his career. He is once again at the top of the golfing world, and the gap between 1st and 2nd is massive. But I've had about all I can take in the last few days in terms of where Tiger Woods fits in terms of alltime sports figures.
Tiger Woods is NOT the Greatest Athlete of Alltime.
Sorry to rain on your parade, Tiger fans, but I've seen way too much BS about Eldrick being better than Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Jim Browne... the list goes on and on. Is that some sort of joke?
For starters, the greatest athlete of alltime is going to have to play a sport that's a little more physically demanding than golf. A lot of people will tell you that golf's not even a sport. I'm not one of them. But if you want to compare the physical demands of football, basketball, hockey, soccer, and a number of other sports to hitting a golf ball, you're seriously on the pipe. Mentally strenuous? No question. Pressure packed? For sure. Hand-eye cordination? Yep. But don't even try and tell me that a sport in which there's nobody else trying to prevent you from doing what you want (ie. playing defense) is home to the greatest athlete the world has ever seen.
If you want to pose an argument that Tiger is the Most Popular Athlete of Alltime, I'll listen.
Maybe you say he's dominated his sport to a greater extent than other athletes have dominated theirs. It's a decent and rational debate.
Hell, I'm even willing to hear that he's had more impact on the future of his sport than other athletes.
But that's where it stops. In my short lifetime, I've seen the likes of MJ, Bo Jackson, Gretzky, Barry Sanders, Deion Sanders - you get the idea - all perform feats that are FAR more impressive from an athletic standpoint than what Tiger is doing. And I don't even scratch the surface of what many of my elders have been able to witness. So stop with your Tiger worship in terms of this argument. You just won't sell me on it.
It'll take a couple more years to make it official, but Woods will go down as the greatest golfer in the history of the game. But unless I see him turn a swing pass into a 90 yard touchdown, dunk over Lebron James in the NBA Final or bat .450 and steal 105 bases in a season, he won't even come close to being in any argument I ever make for the greatest athlete of alltime.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Dog Dazed and Confused
Well, it's the dog days of summer... at least for a sports fan. Hey, I love the CFL and Major League Baseball, but both are at very undramatic points of the season. The CFL races heat up after Labour Day, as do the pennant races. And with NFL training camps just barely underway, the North American Sports Fan is in purgatory.
So what could happen to spice things up? Here's a few of my personal suggestions that just might turn the nightly highlight reel into "Appointment Television".
1. Tiger Woods plays a full round drunk with John Daly.
Just imagine the conversation as Long John regales Tiger with "Tales from the Winnnebago" as he urinates just off the sixth tee box. Tiger then drops a profanity-laced tirade on an over-exuberant fan for breathing during his backswing, and proceeds to play javelin with his 4-iron, the club he just hit to the first fringe. Who doesn't have enough personality now, Phil?
2. NASCAR holds "Beater Night at Daytona".
Everyone from Jeff Gordon to Matt Kenseth fires up a piece-of-crap car donated by 20 contest winners. Envision the hilarity of watching Greg Biffle's Gremlin trying to go inside of Jimmie Johnson's Yugo on turn 3 at 47 MPH. "Uh, oh! Tony Stewart has lost the rear panel of his #24 Pacer! He'll need to ducktape some aluminum siding on his ride at the next pit stop!" Plus, with NASCAR you know there'll be some drinkin' and fightin'.
3. Jared from Subway vs Bearded Canadian Tire Guy: The Cage Match
In a desperate attempt to revive their respective E-list celebrity status', the former commercial annoyances engage in a pay-per-view wrestling event. Jared has the obvious weight advantage, but what Mastercraft tool will Bearded Canadian Tire Guy bring into the ring? Winner gets a 15 second commercial that airs at halftime of CBC's Pacific Rim Table Tennis Challenge.
4. PBA vs Bass Fisherman Team Decathalon
Non-athletes involved in actual athletic endeavours. Imagine watching the "well-rounded" stars of professional bowling attempting to clear the 1.0 metre bar in the high jump. Or your average bass fisherman sizing up the flexibility of his rod for the pole vault. This would qualify as "Inspirational Television", as everyone at home saying, "C'mon, I could do that" would be right for the first time in history. Losing team must sign official documents confirming that their beloved hobby is not in fact a sport.
5. Monkey Roller Derby
Monkeys are just so damn hilarious. Whether they're laughing, swiping stuff or just trying to pee on each other, they always make me chuckle. So why not throw them on rollerskates and see what happens? I guarantee it's better than 95% of the crappy Reality shows on TV.
Those are just a few ideas to amp up the sports world every July and August. I'm sure you've got some ideas of your own, so feel free to suggest them in the comments section. While I'm waiting, I'll try and get ahold of the Bearded Canadian Tire Guy. Lord knows he's itchin' for another shot at fame.
So what could happen to spice things up? Here's a few of my personal suggestions that just might turn the nightly highlight reel into "Appointment Television".
1. Tiger Woods plays a full round drunk with John Daly.
Just imagine the conversation as Long John regales Tiger with "Tales from the Winnnebago" as he urinates just off the sixth tee box. Tiger then drops a profanity-laced tirade on an over-exuberant fan for breathing during his backswing, and proceeds to play javelin with his 4-iron, the club he just hit to the first fringe. Who doesn't have enough personality now, Phil?
2. NASCAR holds "Beater Night at Daytona".
Everyone from Jeff Gordon to Matt Kenseth fires up a piece-of-crap car donated by 20 contest winners. Envision the hilarity of watching Greg Biffle's Gremlin trying to go inside of Jimmie Johnson's Yugo on turn 3 at 47 MPH. "Uh, oh! Tony Stewart has lost the rear panel of his #24 Pacer! He'll need to ducktape some aluminum siding on his ride at the next pit stop!" Plus, with NASCAR you know there'll be some drinkin' and fightin'.
3. Jared from Subway vs Bearded Canadian Tire Guy: The Cage Match
In a desperate attempt to revive their respective E-list celebrity status', the former commercial annoyances engage in a pay-per-view wrestling event. Jared has the obvious weight advantage, but what Mastercraft tool will Bearded Canadian Tire Guy bring into the ring? Winner gets a 15 second commercial that airs at halftime of CBC's Pacific Rim Table Tennis Challenge.
4. PBA vs Bass Fisherman Team Decathalon
Non-athletes involved in actual athletic endeavours. Imagine watching the "well-rounded" stars of professional bowling attempting to clear the 1.0 metre bar in the high jump. Or your average bass fisherman sizing up the flexibility of his rod for the pole vault. This would qualify as "Inspirational Television", as everyone at home saying, "C'mon, I could do that" would be right for the first time in history. Losing team must sign official documents confirming that their beloved hobby is not in fact a sport.
5. Monkey Roller Derby
Monkeys are just so damn hilarious. Whether they're laughing, swiping stuff or just trying to pee on each other, they always make me chuckle. So why not throw them on rollerskates and see what happens? I guarantee it's better than 95% of the crappy Reality shows on TV.
Those are just a few ideas to amp up the sports world every July and August. I'm sure you've got some ideas of your own, so feel free to suggest them in the comments section. While I'm waiting, I'll try and get ahold of the Bearded Canadian Tire Guy. Lord knows he's itchin' for another shot at fame.
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